I agree with you. I brought a cognitive bias gained from my mom to not treat sex as a product. Bringing biases is not unusual in relationships. We all carry baggage that may manifest in positive or negative ways.

The point I was trying to communicate through this article is to define levels of comfort before getting into a relationship. We all have turn-ons and turn-offs, things that attract us and things that make us feel uncomfortable. Proactively considering what one can tolerate will help the decision-making process if new information comes up.

So in my case, if I had decided that I would never be comfortable being in a relationship with someone who would treat sex as transactional, I would have broken up with her when I found out. Instead of letting it eat away at our relationship over the long-term. To remove the sugar aspect, I could’ve found out that she was racist or an animal abuser (she’s not, but for the sake of an example). Both of those revelations would be deal-breakers too.

I used my experiences to describe a lesson I learned. But the lesson is not dependent on the situation, it could have been learned in many different ways.