Your response was very thought-provoking. There’s a lot to unpack and reflect on. I won’t tackle every point, but I’ve picked out a few.

I think we are observing the same thing but differ in our interpretation. To your last point, women have the advantage of sexual discrimination. In relationships, the majority of successes are contingent on the woman accepting the man. The advantage you wrote about aptly characterizes this idea.

I think that leveraging power is up to the individual. A woman could leverage it for a loving husband, a sugar daddy, or anything in between. But drawing a parallel to some other leverage of power, I’ll compare it to financial power. Some rich people use their financial leverage to make better outcomes, like investing in projects that are in the public’s best interest. Or, some rich people can use their financial leverage to evade taxes or coerce other people to do their dirty work. I’d consider one to be more morally right than the other, but that’s just subjectivity.

We differ in our interpretation of what is right vs wrong and what we choose to accept in a partner. I’ll be friends with people at both ends of the spectrum. I have friends who are strippers, some that are still saving their virginity till marriage. I know people who’ve used their financial power for good and bad things. I don’t judge them besides their ability to provide friendship. However, in an intimate relationship, I have higher expectations and am more discriminatory in who I’m choosing.

Somewhat related, I think it would be equally as bad to be with a guy for years, only for them to leave you because of an unresolved issue from the past. Essentially, if I’d drawn out my experience, that would be our situation but years into the future.

Finally, I’ve been offered many ‘arrangements’ too. Some offered to pay for my school, rent an apartment for me, give me an allowance, etc. in return for my body. And this wasn’t gay men. Maybe 60–70% were women 40+ years of age (things happen on WeChat in Asia). But I decided the monetary gain in the short term wouldn’t be worth my self-disgust in the long term. I tie a lot of value to intimacy that isn’t quantifiable in a dollar amount. It’s like trust or loyalty. I can’t place a tangible price on an intangible value.

I’m more worried about the totality aspect. Even if you're 33, single with mediocre financial status, you still have half a life to live without trying to hide anything. But that’s completely based on the assumption that one would try to hide their involvement in sex arrangement. As an aside, I try not to do anything I wouldn’t want others to find out about, especially in a world that’s becoming increasingly transparent due to the massive amount of our data stored everywhere. So whether it’s posting an unsavoury tweet or accepting a sex arrangement in exchange for tuition, I just stay away from it. And require that my close relationships also have the same ideas as me.

Thank you for responding. I really enjoyed thinking through these ideas with greater analysis after your descriptive post!